At Caring Choices, we understand the pressures you are under as a family caregiver. This blog is designed to support you in the incredibly important work that you do.
As the northern New Jersey experts in family caregiving, we have resources, tips and information that can make your life much easier.
If you would like help, give us a call at: 973.627.4087.
Good communication requires both speaking and listening. Oddly enough, if you make a specific effort to listen, it can open doors. Once “heard,” the other person may be more willing to hear your point of view. Deep listening is more difficult than it sounds. It’s not passive. It requires concentration. It also takes humility and empathy.
When Peggy’s husband died, she found it very difficult to go out in the world without him. She even quit going to church because it was too painful when people asked how she was doing. Her daughter, Debbie, lived far away and was extremely concerned because her mother had now lost not only her husband, but also her spiritual and social community.
For a teen, a relative’s dementia can turn a close relationship into one that’s now awkward, confusing, and embarrassing. And creates feelings of guilt.
Roberto was a confirmed bachelor and beloved uncle to his many nieces and nephews. Always the life of the party at family barbeques, he had begun to withdraw. He no longer hung out with his buddies, and he was even losing weight. The family wasn’t sure what to do.
After you have scoured the Internet to help your relative find a potential new doctor—someone on their plan and with no obvious red flags—it’s time to get more specific. The doctor’s website may provide some descriptive information, but most likely, you’ll want a conversation.
James, a long distance son, was worried about his mother’s isolation and lack of mental stimulation following a series of minor strokes. Ruth had been a tenured professor of Art History, but had retreated since her husband’s death. She was becoming so withdrawn, it was difficult for James to have conversations with her on the phone.
For most family caregivers, frustration and guilt are common, as is anxiety and resentment. These feelings are normal and reasonable under the circumstances. It’s not realistic to eliminate negative emotions. Caring for an ailing family member IS emotionally taxing, especially in the case of memory loss. But sometimes the negativity can feed on itself.
Sarah, a caregiving wife with health issues had a husband, Tom, who was prone to falling. She needed to go to her medical appointments, but her husband kept firing the caregivers she hired to stay with him.
A vast majority of older adults (77%) say they want to remain in their own homes as they age. Of course! Home is comfortable: We know where everything is—in the house, and also in the neighborhood and town. Friends, doctors, grocery store. We know how to get around quickly and easily. Plus, the emotional benefits of memories, identity, and history are baked into the walls of a home. But for many, the concept of staying put is based on how things are now and doesn’t factor in the changes that are bound to come.
Even pre-COVID, many 90-year-olds adamantly refused to go to a senior center, saying they didn’t want to be around “all those old people.” (!) Does this sound like your loved one? Admittedly, the senior centers of the past tended to focus on bingo and crafts. These activities are of limited interest to the newest generation of older adults. Happily, senior centers have been updating. Bingo and crafts are still there. But the upswing in technology use during COVID catapulted many centers into the 21st century
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